Self-assessing our own DMM attachment patterns is difficult, but not impossible. What are effective ways to do so? How can we help our clients self-assess and survive the process of seeking balance? Exploring these questions will kick off our 2025 series of DMM Coffee house sessions.
It’s possible to make a large list of self-assessment questions and we might do so. But is it better to identify a tight short list? Here’s a few first-draft short-list questions to get us started.
- How do I handle negative affect, experiences and memories? If I’m using A strategies, is my discomfort with the negative causing me to think that the little bit of negative I exhibit feels like it’s a lot, making me think I’m using C strategies? If I’m using C-even strategies, am I comfortable with the negative but am I often dialing down or hiding it’s display, so it feels like I’m avoiding the negative? If I’m using C-odd strategies, how hard it is to admit my free display of the negative and how do I feel doing so?
- Do I use images or platitudes in my speech? To test my assumption, what does it look and feel like if try to use an opposite style?
- How do I handle rules, especially in the context of danger? If I’m C-like, am I using rules more to control others but think I’m actually a rule follower, and/or am I using rules to help me manage my emotions? If I’m A-like, what contexts do I break rules and how do I feel when I do so?
- How do I handle causality? Do I start sequences with something I think I did, or something someone else did or some unknown cause? What is the pattern of what or who I tend to blame? How do I feel when I test those assumptions and try to change them and do the opposite?
- What are the dangers I think I’m sensitive to? Are they A or C-like dangers? When I think about dangers relevant to what I think is the opposite of my pattern, how I feel about those dangers? (See the DMM Danger List, https://www.conflictscienceinstitute.com/dmm-danger-list/.)
- How do I handle asking for and accepting help from others?
- What are some of my prior experiences which I don’t understand and seem a little weird? How can I understand them in DMM terms?
SESSION DETAILS
Date and time: Tuesday, 7 January 2025. 9:00 am in Seattle; noon in Miami, 5:00 pm in London, 6:00 pm in western Europe.
Length: Up to 2 hoursHost: No host, bring your questions and experiences to share
Recording: This session will not be recorded, to promote safe exploration
For: All DMM Group Talk members your colleagues, please feel free to forward this email
Link to register for Zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/s3DgPc2JSSulOIwiqWaJgQ
DMM Case Consultation Group will continue in 2025, on the same schedule, third Tuesday of each month. Feel free to request alternate meeting times.